I am lazy to blog nowadays...
lazy to write a long entry....
well basically, i fell today!!! while i was walking to the mrt station,on my way to school...
today was quite a fun day...i think the last week is the best part of the semester where we don't really do powerpoint...


^i wipe it with dettol wipe tissue....I swear it was like a burning sensation...
then it was watery when i reach school...what a day to start with!!!
thanks to my clumsiness and i was walking lazily....


we ransacked the TRCC store room where all the IG's kept their instrument and tools...
actually it was ain, she was searching for something and she need our help...




^which leads to fooling around with the equipment...LOL


my school with nice scenery...

the ben and jerry's...our science facilitator friends...HA~








^some random pics in my phone which i have yet to upload into my lappy....

^beam sleeping.......ZZZZzzzzzzzzz...
this idiot, i have to scare him off before the semester comes to an end tomorrow....
I hope my mission going to be a success...






^my niece which i am taking care of currently....

okay...this week is the last week before we indulge ourself in a two and the half months of holiday to prepare for our year 2...
have been making the most of our time in class and there is class chalet but some can't attend cause some of them going overseas to new york, paris, korea...
urgh...how i wish i could go somewhere!!!
anyway, yeah..
we had few treats from the facilitator..such as the ben and jerry's and some nice chocolates!!!!...
then we made our own certificate of appreciation...LOL...
i only have photos..i m lazy to blog about it....

i am tired of people telling me what to do when i know what's wrong and right..
i am tired of carrying big responsibility which i shouldn't have in the first place..
i am tired of worrying about others..
i am tired to think what i am going to do next...
i am tired of taking the blame for others..
i am tired of lying for the sake of others
i am tired of thinking about this...
i hate feeling pathetic each day thinking bout this


i take a bitter medicine called TIME
i force myself to swallow it down
knowing that everything will be alright someday

recently, life haven't been that good for me to smile and laugh about..
i am being pressurize by my surrounding and driven to the end...
expecting me to do everything and give in to them.
its quite upsetting, people push responsibility around when its their's'
whatever it is, i just do what is expected of me although the stress is up to my neck!

i just never had a chance and space for me to breathe...

i never like to complain bout my life but i think it have went way too far for me that i even keep thinking in my head each day...
its been this bad...

today was a short day at school.
after doing the last UT in W35Q( bcos there are no more UT in the future in the class), quite a number of people left...left 12 people in the class then we bargain for less work and the grades...
all of us did wksht and settle for the minimal which is B. One group did ppt and they will be having A. we finished at 12.30 and then had our lunch cause we didn't went for our breaks...

we saw a mascot while we were settling down to put down our bags and fiza is scared to death!...okay maybe not death but she ran away...LOL...
ten i went to my sis house walking back...i swear i felt like as if i m sending azri and fiza home!!..
its like i am touring their territory where they grew up and tell me bout their schooling days...

why am i feeling tired today?i felt so sleepy as if i m eating sleeping pills...

i think my temper is getting nasty nowadays...
how i feel like shouting...
i am just angry with myself and everything that i have cause myself to feel this way....
i think i need to knock some sense in me!!!

LOL...i pon ytd or shall i say, i just walk off on the first break after participating actively...
i was having fun at some part of my school instead of squeezing my brain juice for science problem of the day..
then we had lunch with the remaining of our classmates that's left for the day after several people leave halfway...
actually we discover that we have a beautiful school and but its just that the education sux abit..
okay tmrw enterprise,another slacking day!!!...wooooo

early in the morning i was so happy to go back home..
when i reached home, i was greeted with a bad news which i expected to hear...
my father doesn't want me to sleep over at my sis house...
i am not sure why,since i am taking care of my 3rd niece, i have to wait fr my sis and bro-in-law to be back home and by that time,its too late fore me to go back home so i sleep over at my sis house...
its like weekdays house and weekends back home...
so i rarely see my parents..
now my father is mad about it which i don't even understand..
i am too tired myself to think about it..
i am seriously upset that they can't give in as a family....
me, being a center person is tiring...
i don't mind taking care of my nieces and sleeping over although its tiring but my father wants me to go back everyday once my sis or bro-in-law reach home.,,furthermore, my father wants my bro-in law to send me back home....
he is making my life more tiring...i swear...i don't like when it happens because it will not only make me and them tired but also hard on me...
i rather go back myself than to make it hard on my sis and brother-in-law..
my mum is fine with it but its my father who have big ego and thinks about himself...
WHAT ABOUT ME???I M MORE TIRED!!!
WHO DO YOU THINK I AM??I EVEN Sacrifice my freedom after school which i can hang out with my friend and do my stuff and now things are harder for me!!! but i think its okay for me just for my nieces but now look!!!...what's happening??
what is this???
i feel as if i am making all the sacrifices but others are not willing to sacrifices for me...
can't my father think about others and stop thinking about him...

i am so disappointed..u have no idea what difficulty i am in right now.

i swear i feel so pathetic...
i lied to myself for other people interest....
i can't believe it myself...

anyway, days in school is fun as usual...
can't do without any laughter each day and its gonna be end of year 1 soon...
i m so gonna miss my class alot...their non stop jokes and frequent scares from beam...
ouh ya...BIG NEWS: one idiot made me fall to the ground...thanks to azri or should i call him MANDY??...lol
i swing one round around the pole and then i fell...it was raining that day..its funny but its painful and wet!!!

i have nothing to say cos i feel super super pathetic!!!

(PS this pic cos i got nothing to do...)


the little miss and mr men...we bought the t-shirt for ain too for her bdae so it was a surprise for her...

aniwae, today is sunday...
i just realise that i will be 19 this year and the following year, i'll be 20...its like the last "1" digit i am gonna see in my life...time flies!!!!...
then ytd i was watching princess diaries 2,kinda get hook with it after watching princess diaries...
it was so sweet but then I've no intention of being a PRINCESS..its so ermm...not realistic...
but maybe i want my life to be happy as hers...

at last i saw beam online..
and i show him the pics that i asked azri to edit...i edit some of the words away...
me: BEAM!!
i have something to show you!!
HAha!!!
beam: WTH
you happy ah
put my picture like that!



LOL!!!!

first of all.. i m having a bad nose block as in super BAD!!!
anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AIN!!!...yeah dah 19!!!!...
today the whole class bash was damn fun and i also hurt myself during the fun..
i graze myself while trying to avoid them putting flour on me


(side of my hand)....its not painful but the knee is abit painful...
i will upload the bdae bash video once its up..its soooo funny!!!
and basically i have something for beam after he disturb ain while doing for my evaluation....
i wanted to disturb him wen he does his self-evaluation but then he was so quick!!!...
haha...now i m waiting for him to be online to show him some pretty faces on it...LOL...

today was slightly not a good day to end with..
was happy to meet my friends but not doing the problems..
the moment i entered the class,i look around and people are having different hairstyles...
ha~....even the guys tooo...
science grp have change and so is the way of working too...no comments...
sometimes people are old enough to know and take responsibility..
i don't mind, it's up to them....
actually if we did the wksht, everything would be fine...

wah~i think the old syndrome is back...
where my eyes feel so strained and then my head feels as if there is somebody pressing on it...
i think i m abit tired after getting my brain warm up with the problem..

well,i hope that its getting better as day flies...
actually this morning, i don't feel like talking...was having thoughts in my mind..
although i kept my mouth shut but still i am talking to myself inside so i don't feel that i m lonely....

had a fine day for today...followed my parents around and went to johor...
we went to giant and my mum spend a bit and then we went to my auntie house who is residing over at malaysia...
i was not bored over there for hours because i was playing with my nephew....
he is surrounded by aunties including me...so i was like entertaining him and play with him...
when i play around with him, he was enjoying it...he likes to cartoons and blue clues....
i don't really see my nieces and nephew from my mother side cos we r not that close..i m very close to my father side....
anyway,here are the pics...

thank god i m home!!!
i m on my bed and rolling away on my bed....lol....
i just asked my sis till when do i have to take care of my niece? and she told me until she reach primary 1....ouh god..
i don't think i can do it...i still have school and moreover i m going to year 2 with lots of things to do...my sis will only be back home at 8 or 9 if morning shift and at 10 if late shift...
i can only do my things at night and there is not enough time for me...
i don't know..
i m not complaining but going back and fro and not having enough time to spend to do my work is totally not me...watever it is...need to discuss this with her...i don't care bout the money she give me but its more of me and my school..



anyway,i drew this for my nieces....she was pulling me away so that i won't go home and play with her...on the other hand, i was missing my other 2 nieces back home....they are way manageable than my 3rd nieces...
3rd niece is damn naughty...sometimes when i am chatting on my lappy, she seek attention by stepping on my laptop or she will kick me...
i even had a pinch mark on my hand...
i just keep quiet cause if i blow up...only god noes...
that day i was feeding her dinner and i asked her to blow softly on her rice cos its hot...then she purposely blow so hard and scattered the rice from the spoon to the floor..wooh~.....
my blood boils but i just talk to her nicely...
it is painful when she hits my head and so on but whatever..like people say "its a kid!!!"...

i've been complaining bout my nieces alot..can't help it!.

OMGD!!!
at last tmrw is friday...i want to go back home pls!!!!...i m totally homesick...
u've got no idea how badly i wanna go back...
although its my sis home but still i want home!!! where all my things and pillows are and i can do anything i want...
its abit difficult going back and fro from cck to admiraldty...
the difficult part is that i share my wadrobe with my sis and yeah, we need to noe wat we r going to wear cos i m at my sis house and she is at home...

so new year...i don't have any resolution but just to seize each day...
you know usually if i have free times, i will plan whatare the things to do in years to come...
nowadays, there's no such thing as resting...
taking care of my niece is hard...you'll know when u have one...
i will only do my things at night which is after my sis and bro-in law back from work...
i will sleep around 2.30 am and need to wake up at 8.30 am to get my niece ready for school...
its hard cause i don't have enough time for me...i can't go out with my friends after school and can't even go out to JOG!!!..for godness sake...i hope my sis do something about this before i am going to be busy with school in year 2....the endurance level is decreasing each week..

ouh yar so the year have end and so is the 1st year in polyn in 1 month times...TIME FLIES!!!
it also shows that i have yet to meet my friends in secondary school for like a year for a lunch/dinner and REALLY talk....


i've got a shock that my previous maths teacher in primary school is my niece form teacher in primary school now...
that tcher is damn unreasonable...to her there's no such thing as forget...IDIOT!! she can even throw your maths workbook if you don't do her work properly...lets see whether she can rmbr and whats going thru her mind...